What to Expect After Trauma:

Possible Reactions in Kindergarten and Elementary School Children

Feelings of anxiety, fears, and worries about safety of self and others (more clingy to teacher or parent) Worries about re-occurrence of violence Increased levels of distress (whiny, irritable, more "moody") Changes in behavior: Increased activity level Decreased concentration and/or attention Withdrawal Angry outbursts Aggression Absenteeism Increased somatic complaints (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, aches and pains) Changes in school performance Recreating event (e.g., talking repeatedly about it, "playing" the event) Increased sensitivity to sounds (e.g., sirens, planes, thunder, backfires, loud noises) Statements and questions about death and dying Changes in sleep Changes in appetite Lack of interest in usual activities Increased negative behaviors (e.g., defiance) or emotions (e.g., sadness, fears, anger, worries) Regression in behaviors (e.g., baby talk, bedwetting, tantrums) Hate or anger statements What Can I Do To Help?

Guidelines for Parents/Caregivers of Kindergarten and Elementary School Children

Reinforce ideas of safety and security. This may be needed multiple times, particularly in response to changes, loud sounds, or other events that may remind the children of the tragedy. After any discussion of the event, end the discussion with a focus on their current safety and a calming activity, such as taking deep breaths, working together on an art project, holding hands and singing a quiet song, or reading a story. Listen to and tolerate your children's retelling of events, as well as playing out the events. However, set limits on scary or hurtful play or talk. Encourage children to talk about confusing feelings, worries, daydreams, and disruptions of concentration by accepting the feelings, listening carefully, and reminding them that these are normal reactions (any of these feelings are okay) following a very scary event. Information focused on safety will be important. For example, the President of the USA and other "helping people" (e.g., the firefighters, military, police, doctors) are all working together to make us safe (give examples). A review of family safety plans may also be helpful. Some children might express hate toward a large group of people. It can be helpful to validate their strong feelings of anger. However, it will be critical to help them separate thoughts and feelings about the specific people who caused the tragedy from generalizing it to larger groups of people, including their classmates or other people they might know (e.g., all people of Arab descent). Young children will process the information about the events at unpredictable times throughout the day. As they try to develop an understanding of what has happened, they may ask questions that may be initially shocking to adults. Try to respond in a calm manner, answering the questions in simple, direct terms. Knowing they can talk to you is important. Use simple, direct terms to describe what happened. Avoid terms designed to "soften" the information, which inadvertently further confuses children. For example, use the term "died," rather than "went to sleep." Children may misunderstand information about the event as they are trying to make sense of what happened. For example, they may blame themselves, believe things happened that did not happen, believe that terrorists are in the school, etc. Gently help students develop a realistic understanding of the event. Children may ask the same types of questions repeatedly, which can be confusing and/or frustrating for adults. Understand that they may need to hear the information multiple times before being able to integrate and understand it. Give them time to cope with fears. Expect some angry outbursts from children. Try to catch them before they "act out," by taking them aside, and helping them calm down and regain control of their behavior. Do activities that will reinforce the message that one person can make a difference to help and heal. Activities can include drawing pictures and sending cards. Expect some brief, temporary declines in the children's school performance. Provide reassurance to children that uncomfortable feelings will get smaller and easier to handle over time. Expect and understand children's regression (acting younger) and other difficult behaviors that are not typical. (e.g. bed wetting, whining, needing more help with dressing and feeding). Maintain communication with others in children's lives (teacher, coach, etc.) Monitor how the children are coping with the demands of school, home, and community activities. Avoid exposing your child to reminders of the trauma. This includes limiting your child's exposure to the news and other television programs about the tragedy. If you do choose to have your child see this information on the television, keep it brief, watch it with your child, and talk to your child after to clarify miscommunication. Protecting the children from re-exposure includes limiting exposure to adult conversations about the events -- even when you think they are not listening, they often are. Maintain the family routines, particularly around sleeping, eating, and extracurricular activities (e.g., sports, church, and dance). Be sure the bedtime routine includes safely tucking them in at night. Young children may want a night light again. Make sure your child is receiving a balanced diet and enough rest. Avoid unnecessary separations from important caregivers. Expect temporary regression in your child's behaviors (e.g., starting to babytalk, wetting the bed). Do not panic, as your child is likely to return to previous functioning with time and support. Provide soothing activities, such as reading books, listening to music, taking a walk, riding bikes, etc. Increase patience with your child and with yourself. Give your family time to cope. Find ways to emphasize to the children that you love them

Last modified: 8/22/2005 by Covenantal Promotions