What to Expect After Trauma:(cont'd)

Possible Reactions in Middle School Children
Feelings of anxiety, worries, and fears about safety of self and others Worries about re-occurrence or consequences such as war, as well as worries about school violence Changes in behavior: Decreased attention and/or concentration Increase in hyperactivity Changes in academic performance Irritability with friends, teachers, events Anger outbursts and/or aggression Withdrawal Absenteeism Increased somatic complaints (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, chest pains) Discomfort with feelings, particularly those associated with revenge Increased likelihood to discuss the gruesome details Repeated discussions of event Increased sensitivity to sounds (e.g., sirens, planes, thunder, backfires, loud noises) Negative impact on issues of trust and perceptions of others, particularly of those that are "different" Repetitive thoughts and comments about death and dying Changes in sleep or appetite Lack of interest in usual activities (e.g., after-school activities, time with friends) Increased negative behaviors (e.g., defiance) or emotions (e.g., sadness, fears, anger, worries) Hate or anger statements Denial of impact What Can I Do To Help?
Guidelines for Parents/Caregivers of Middle School Children
Reinforce ideas of safety and security. This may be needed multiple times, particularly in response to changes/loud sounds/or other events that may remind your children of the tragedy. After discussion of the event, end the discussion with a focus on their current safety and a calming activity, such as taking deep breaths, working together on an art project, or having a moment of quiet reflection. Listen to and tolerate retelling of events, as well as playing out the events. However, set limits on scary or hurtful talk (e.g., specific threats of retribution) or aggressive play. Encourage the middle-school-aged children to talk about confusing feelings, worries, daydreams, and disruptions of concentration by accepting the feelings, listening carefully, and reminding them that these are normal reactions (any of these feelings are okay) following a very scary event. Discuss their perceptions of media descriptions of events. Information focused on safety will be important. For example, the President of the USA and other "helping people" (e.g., the firefighters, military, police, doctors) are all working together to make us safe (give examples). Review of family safety plans may also be helpful. Some children might express hate toward a large group of people. It can be helpful to validate their strong feelings of anger. However, it will be critical to help them separate thoughts and feelings about the specific people who caused the tragedy from generalizing it to larger groups of people, including their classmates or other people they might know (e.g., all people of Arab descent). It may be helpful to have discussions about how world leaders can help with reducing hate and preventing future violent acts. Children will often process the information about the events at unpredictable times throughout the day. As they try to develop an understanding of what has happened, they may ask questions that may be initially shocking to adults, including questions that have gruesome details or focus on death. Try to respond in a calm manner, answering the questions in simple and direct terms. Knowing you are willing to listen is important. Use simple direct terms to describe what happened, rather than terms designed to "soften" the information, which inadvertently further confuses children. For example, use the term "died," rather than "went to sleep." Children will often misunderstand information about the event as they are trying to make sense of what happened. For example, they may blame themselves; may believe things happened that did not happen, may believe that terrorists are in the school, etc. Gently help them develop a realistic understanding of the event. Children may ask the same types of questions repeatedly, which can be confusing and/or frustrating for adults. Understand that children may need to hear the information multiple times before being able to integrate and understand it. Give them time to cope with fears. Expect some angry outbursts from children. Try to catch them before they "act out," by taking them aside, and helping them calm down and regain control of their behavior. In addition, redirect siblings who are being irritable with each other, which could escalate to direct conflict. Do activities that will reinforce the message that one person can make a difference to help and heal. Activities can include drawing pictures and sending cards or projects of collecting pennies or aluminum cans. Expect some brief (temporary) declines in children's school performance. Provide reassurance to children that uncomfortable feelings will get smaller and easier to handle over time. Maintain communication with other people in children's lives (teacher, coach, etc.) Monitor how children are coping with the demands of school, home, and community activities. Should difficulties coping with the event persist and interfere with the daily functioning, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. In addition to helping those who are clearly angry or depressed, monitor children who are withdrawn and isolated from others. Avoid exposing your child to reminders of the trauma. This includes limiting your child's exposure to the news and other television programs about the tragedy. If you do choose to have your child see this information on the television, keep it brief, watch it with your child, and talk to your child after to clarify miscommunication. Protecting the children from re-exposure includes limiting exposure to adult conversations about the events - even when you think they are not listening, they often are. Maintain the family routines, particularly around sleeping and eating and extracurricular activities (e.g., sports, church, and dance). Make sure your child is receiving a balanced diet and enough rest. Extra time with friends who are supportive and meaningful to him/her may be needed. Avoid unnecessary separations from important caregivers. Provide soothing activities, such as reading books, listening to music, taking a walk, riding bikes, etc. Some middle school students benefit from writing their thoughts and feelings in a journal or drawing. Address acting-out behavior involving aggression or self-destructive activities quickly and firmly with limit setting. Monitor comments about death and dying as well as suicidal thoughts. If these behaviors are severe or persist, seek professional help. Increase patience with your child and with yourself. Give your family time to cope. Find ways to emphasize to the children that you love them

Last modified: 8/22/2005 by Covenantal Promotions